That feeling when someone’s talking and you pretend you’re listening but you’re actually killing him in your mind.
He’s my Clinical Chemistry 1 professor.
Maraming nagkaka-crush sa kanya that’s why we took a picture together; pampainis sa mga naka-crush sa kanya. Hahaha. (evil)
Anyhow, this guy smells reallyyyyy good. I know it because I sit in front of his class (not because I want to but because I have no choice). Maybe that’s why most of the girls in our department have a crush on him.
So really, the reason why we took a picture together is because he said that he wasn’t going to be our teacher anymore. Pero nalaman ko na lang sa friend ko na niloloko niya lang pala kami. Humanda siyaaaaaa! Hahaha
By the way, nakagat ko pala to siya. Sorry, ganyan ako. May lahing bampira. Ayun, maraming nainis sa akin. Swerte ko daw kasi nakagat ko si Sir. Lol.
Goodbye, my almost lover.
Goodbye, my hopeless dream. I’m trying not to think about you. Can’t you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance. My back is turned on you. I should have known you’d bring me heartache. Almost lovers always do
That little silly f*cked up feeling.
Did there ever come a time where you just feel really wrong about yourself? That feeling of sadness from no particular reason? That feeling where you just want to sulk at the corner of your room and cry?
Something you don’t like happened and then all of sudden you just closed down. Then it will last for a long time, a very long time that you would even forget why you feel bad.
This may sound really emotional and all but this is really bothering me right now.
Stalking can be a bitch sometimes.
It’s funny how you stalk someone very special from your past and then all of a sudden every tiny bit of feeling comes back at you like a hurricane. It devours you so hard you can’t get away from it.
It sucks how that’s what I am feeling right now. The hardest thing is I have seen some posts about me and somehow I miss them. I miss being the subject. The person he talks about. The person he admires. The person he pleases every now and then. The person he cares for. The person he loves.
It’s sad how it’s not like that anymore. It really struck me in the heart so bad. Every affection I had for him came back and it hurts so much.
It’s somehow ironic that the person who once meant the world to you is now just someone you knew, someone in the past; not because you wanted to but because you didn’t have any choice at all. It was bound to happen maybe for some reason only God knew.
He was the greatest love I ever had. Yes he was. I don’t know why but he really was. I waited for him for a long time but I got nothing. I hoped for another chance, I did the dumbest things but nothing.
What hurts the most is that I can’t do anything anymore to get him back.
He keeps on breaking my heart and he doesn’t even know it.
Lesson learned: Never stalk someone who was very special from your past.
It just can’t….
There’ this guy… I’d be straight forward about it; I don’t like him. He keeps on courting me even if I said to stop.
He’s from my hometown and I don’t live there anymore. I don’t want him courting me for the fact that it’s very hard. We are very far from each other and I don’t want him exerting too much effort on courting me because there is really no assurance that I would give a YES as an answer.
So I made him stop as early as possible. I reasoned out and he said that he’d try. He’d do everything. Even if it takes a lot of effort, he would. He’d go here and ask me out on a date personally. He’d buy me gifts, flowers, and such. (Which by the way he really did.)
I told him if he ever did those things, there will still be no assurance of giving him a ‘yes’ in the end and then I asked him if he’s still willing to try and he still said yes. It’s okay for him to exert a lot of effort even if in the end it will be all for nothing, at least he tried. In my mind I was like, “what the f*ck is wrong with this guy?” and then I asked myself, “what the f*ck is wrong with me?”
I mean, he’s cute, a gentleman, fun to talk with, fun to be with, he’s a great guy but why can’t I just like him? Why can’t it just be him and not someone else?
Sometimes, no matter how great a person is, there is always something (someone) pushing you away from him/her. It’s just not him. It’s not fate. Not destiny.
It just can’t…
My College Professor
So I have this professor. She’s at her 30’s and she is still active on all sorts of blogs and social networks. It’s hard to see professionals having their own social networking life. It just seems so unusual.
Anyways, what I admire about her tumblr (personal) blog is that she’s not afraid to tell everything she feels with discreteness. She is not afraid to express it to everyone who might see her blog. Her students might see it but it seems that she has no care at all.
I love the way how open she is, the way she expresses herself. I admire her. So much.
Someday, I will be like her. I may not be perfectly like her, but I will always admire and try to follow her ways.
Hi ma’am, if by chance you’d see this, I am very sorry for stalking you. Don’t worry, I will keep your secrets. You’re never gonna hear me talk to people about your private life. It’s just that I admire you so much, that’s all. :)